DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI 19 August 2015
EMIRATE OF KUWAR ROCKED BY "DISAPPEARANCE" OF THEIR RULER
Casually Clad Princess General Romanova and Hot Pants Wearing Queen Shadan al Rachid Make the Announcement that Emir Hussein al Rachid is "Exhausted" and is Resting in an Undisclosed Location
King Hassan Denies Kalahari Had Anything to do with Emirate's Disintegration Despite Kuwar's Past Declaration of War Against Kingdom
Rumors of a "Free the Emir" Movement are Rife in the Arab World
In an announcement met with skepticism in nations across the Arab world, Queen Shadan al Rachid, wife of Emir Hussein al Rachid, and the Emir's fiance, commander of the Royal Kuwari Armed Forces, Prime Minister and Princess General Daria Romanova announced that all rumors to the contrary, the Emir did NOT flee his engagement to General Romanova, nor abandon his people. He is simply exhausted by battling the usual Kuwari scapegoats, the UN and traitors among the residents, and is resting in an undisclosed location.
Evidently, the Emir is undergoing his ordeal without the benefit of his wife and his fiance, whose casual dress, and sullen demeanor, betrayed no hint of affection for the fat old fellow.
As you recall, yesterday, King Hassan refused comment about rumors that a Kalahari agent had been dispatched to Kuwar, an enemy who has declared war on the Kingdom. Today, he categorically denied that Kalahari agents had anything to do with today's disturbing announcement in Kuwar. And he refused any comment on an unconfirmed report that an agent had sent back a cryptic message, stating "No need to disrupt. They collapse of their own weight."
THE KING ANNOUNCES A COMPETITION TO "NAME THE TAVERN"
HOW: Fill out a notecard with the name or names you are suggesting.
WHEN: Submit the card to Cindy (cinders.alex), the Tavern Servant, or Minister of Entertainment Afraa al Abid (xclox.resident) by Monday, 24 August.
WHO: Judges will be: Minister Afraa, Cindy, slave Gabi.
WHAT: The King announces a prize of L$50 AND a delicious meal in the Tavern.
CRITERIA: The name should be Arab-themed, show creativity, and reflect the gastronomic purpose of the Tavern.
MEDIEVAL MURMURS
The King has ordered construction to begin on a Bath House for the pleasure of the Kingdom's residents. This recreational center will be placed where the Belly Dance Temple had been located. The Temple shall be placed in the location of the Pool, next to the Tavern. The buildings will be located there for a probationary period until final approval is sought.
Afraa al Abid
Kalahari Herald
EMIRATE OF KUWAR ROCKED BY "DISAPPEARANCE" OF THEIR RULER
Casually Clad Princess General Romanova and Hot Pants Wearing Queen Shadan al Rachid Make the Announcement that Emir Hussein al Rachid is "Exhausted" and is Resting in an Undisclosed Location
King Hassan Denies Kalahari Had Anything to do with Emirate's Disintegration Despite Kuwar's Past Declaration of War Against Kingdom
Rumors of a "Free the Emir" Movement are Rife in the Arab World
In an announcement met with skepticism in nations across the Arab world, Queen Shadan al Rachid, wife of Emir Hussein al Rachid, and the Emir's fiance, commander of the Royal Kuwari Armed Forces, Prime Minister and Princess General Daria Romanova announced that all rumors to the contrary, the Emir did NOT flee his engagement to General Romanova, nor abandon his people. He is simply exhausted by battling the usual Kuwari scapegoats, the UN and traitors among the residents, and is resting in an undisclosed location.
Evidently, the Emir is undergoing his ordeal without the benefit of his wife and his fiance, whose casual dress, and sullen demeanor, betrayed no hint of affection for the fat old fellow.
As you recall, yesterday, King Hassan refused comment about rumors that a Kalahari agent had been dispatched to Kuwar, an enemy who has declared war on the Kingdom. Today, he categorically denied that Kalahari agents had anything to do with today's disturbing announcement in Kuwar. And he refused any comment on an unconfirmed report that an agent had sent back a cryptic message, stating "No need to disrupt. They collapse of their own weight."
THE KING ANNOUNCES A COMPETITION TO "NAME THE TAVERN"
HOW: Fill out a notecard with the name or names you are suggesting.
WHEN: Submit the card to Cindy (cinders.alex), the Tavern Servant, or Minister of Entertainment Afraa al Abid (xclox.resident) by Monday, 24 August.
WHO: Judges will be: Minister Afraa, Cindy, slave Gabi.
WHAT: The King announces a prize of L$50 AND a delicious meal in the Tavern.
CRITERIA: The name should be Arab-themed, show creativity, and reflect the gastronomic purpose of the Tavern.
MEDIEVAL MURMURS
The King has ordered construction to begin on a Bath House for the pleasure of the Kingdom's residents. This recreational center will be placed where the Belly Dance Temple had been located. The Temple shall be placed in the location of the Pool, next to the Tavern. The buildings will be located there for a probationary period until final approval is sought.
Afraa al Abid
Kalahari Herald
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