Kalahari Herald Chronicles 28 May 2017 3#53

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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CRIMINALS DALIA AND TINAWO FREE!

  KALAHARI BRACES FOR CRIME WAVE!

LADY NILASSO HOPES FOR PROFIT FROM CRIMINAL PAIR!

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The day long dreaded, but unavoidable, finally came today, as the noted criminal pair Dalia and TinaWo were freed.

They were met by their faithful employer, Lady Nilasso of the Garden of 1001 Pleasures, who now assumes the challenging task of turning two sex-crazed criminals into productive earners at the Garden so the King's pockets can be lined (censored) Kalahari Treasury can be enriched for the good of the Kingdom.

The pair's stay in prison was tumultuous, and caused Prison Governor Stephanie Brown to call in the noted Lady Torturer Samaira in order to "rehabilitate" Dalia,

and TinaWo, in the encouraging "lesson by whip" which she has adopted as one of her civic contributions.

Governor Stephanie and Minister Afraa supervised the "civics lesson" administered by Lady Samaira, so that no dead bodies (censored) all of Kalahari's laws were strictly observed.

Clearly, the two prison pupils learned their lesson well, as they relaxed at "recess," after they completed her educational class.

Nilasso, therefore, took precautions against any misbehavior by Dalia or TinaWo, (and their mysterious third friend Justine Jashan,) by leashing them securely before taking them back to the Garden.

In a compassionate move so characteristic of her good heart, Lady Nilasso allowed the released prisoners, who will be closely watched by Kalahari security, a refreshing bath in the Garden recuperation tub. Our thoughts and prayers go with Nilasso as she sets out on her own path of education of this pair.

Meanwhile, as Governor Stephanie managed frightening criminals, Lady Samaira offered her educational lessons, Lady Nilasso took on the task of rehabilitation, and Minister Afraa rolled her eyes, King Hassan pursued his important work in the Kingdom.

Earlier that day, the King revealed the location of his "meditation cave' to a delighted Nilasso and Anette CapriHorn, who provided an educational lesson of their own to the delighted King. Observing this lovefest, Minister Afraa rolled her eyes, which is happening so frequently she may have to consult a doctor for "loose eye syndrome!"

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

Kalahari Herald Chronicles 26 May 2017 3#52

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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HASSAN THE MERCIFUL RULES!

CRIMINALS DALIA AND TINAWO SENTENCED!

 JUSTICE BLENDED WITH MERCY!

DID SEXUAL ATTRACTION PLAY A ROLE?
5 LASHES AND TWO DAYS IN PRISON ON BREAD AND WATER???

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Minister Afraa al Abid should have realized that it was not to be her day. While discussing the excellent catering done by slave Anette CapriHorn, who should arrive in Kalahari but her old nemesis, Ambassador Randy Quander of Meyonia? The internationally discredited Quander is still carrying on about some warrant for Crimes against Humanity with Minister Afraa's name on it.

Randy Quander, Afraa al Abid, Anette CapriHorn

But soon the King arrived to take on his accustomed place as the person who brings justice to the Kingdom. All seemed normal, as Minister Afraa presented the case against the lawbreaking duo of Dalia and TinaWo.

Afraa al Abid addresses Court, as King sits in judgment, dara looks on, and the prisoners TinaWo and Dalia kneel in shame

Most Court room observers would agree that Afraa had laid out a damning case against the criminals who knelt before the King.

But at this point, the trial turned, though it is unclear whether the driving force was devious Dalia's powerful defense. the underhanded sexuality of the boob-bouncing Quander, or the light hearted comments of the Kalaharians, who seemed to enjoy tweaking the King and his Minister.

But in the mind of this observer, the most persuasive case was laid out by the immoral Dalia, who cleverly used the Prophet, and the distraction of Quander's frequent whisperings in the King's ear, to make a seemingly persuasive case about sexuality, while avoiding any mention of the actual charges against her and the equally immoral TinaWo.

Dalia makes plea as TinaWo, Anette CapriHorn, Randy Quander, MelaShane, Stephanie Brown and Sir Wolf look on

Sadly, Hasim Rhagreb, Portmaster of the Emirate of Al-Hurria arrived just at this point, and his entrance undoubtedly detracted from the powerful but clear presentation of Minister Afraa. (Well, I have to blame someone, don't i?)

Stephanie Brown, Afraa al Abid, Fatima, slave Rachel, Hasim Rhagreb

In the interests of journalistic fairness, which is the hallmark of the Kalahari Herald Chronicles, unless Minister Afraa is really angry, we publish below the complete text of devious Dalia's defense. 

There are no further comments to be made about what happened. The facts are not contestable: TinaWo opened the prison’s door for me, and I ran away. I thanked her in the Bath House.

I hope this tribunal is only guided by the most merciful Allah and His Prophet.

There is no doubt I am guilty of leaving the prison. But let’s have a look at this young girl: She did what she did out of love. The ability to love is a gift the Almighty gave us.

Ibn 'Abbas reported Allah's Apostle (May peace be upon him) as saying: “Though she opened the door for her confined friend - she did it out of a misguided sense of justice. Teach her, but do not bind her.” Sahih Muslim Book 018, Hadith Number 4244.

Even our blessed Prophet has released a young girl acting wrongly in a sense of justice. I put my confidence in this court to follow the wisdom of our beloved Prophet.

Let the almighty and most merciful guide this judge.

But let me emphasize another point: Why we are on trial today.

We were having sex together. Yes. Ibn Ḥazm al-Andalusī wrote 540 years ago: “Love is neither disapproved by religion, nor forbidden by law, the hearts are in the hand of Allah, the almighty and divine.” 400 years ago az-Zamaḫšarī asked “Who are we to judge love - something Allah has invented us with?”

For at least 800 years, there has been no single person persecuted for loving one of his or her own gender, and I am sure this is to stay. as it has been, for at least another 200 years. Even the thought is alien to our beliefs. We should ask: “Who are the persons telling us love is a sin?” In my honest opinion, they are influenced by people who call themselves “Christians.” They’re holding the belief that people should only come together to produce heirs: Laughable and insulting to the Almighty, who gifted us with the ability to enjoy. Shall we follow these misguided people or our own scripts and traditions? Shall we adopt ourselves to their doctrines? Is our own belief so weak?

Let the Almighty and most merciful guide this jury.

My final plea: It is humiliating for the defendants to be punished by people who are so weak in their belief. 

We are martyrs and enter Paradise directly! While every single member of this jury will have to stand in front of the divine and most just to justify their "judgement" - may He have mercy with their souls.

Let the Almighty and most merciful guide this jury on the eve of the holy month of Ramadan, the month of forgiveness. Allahu Akbar.

There only remained, then, the sentence to be passed on the convicted criminals by Hassan the Merciful. Though continually distracted by the smoldering sexuality of Quander, not to mention the overt sexual advances from the two defendants, the King managed to issue a sentence of 5 lashes to TinaWo, and two days imprisonment, in the same cell, wearing chastity belts, for the two criminals.

King sentences Dalia and TinaWo as Randy Quander, MelaShane, Nilasso, Sir Wolf, Stephanie Borwn and Skythe look on

A disappointed Minister Afraa was heard grumbling that "Sex, not justice, decided this case," but she perked up when Lady Stephanie Brown led Tina to the punishment tree, where her partner in crime could see her receive her just punishment, while the perverted Quander remained in the background and the former defense attorney MelaShane looked on with distaste. The slave Tina certainly showed her fear.

slave TinaWo's fear is obvious as she is about to receive her just sentence

Stephanie Brown administers the just punishment to TinaWo while MelaShane and a lurking Randy Quander look on

Spirits perked up after the whipping, when Prison Manager Stephanie Brown led the distasteful duo to their cells, while the rest of the large crowd repaired to the Tavern, where the King hosted delicious food prepared by Anette CapriHorn, and served by Kahya dara, and with Head Slaver Nada Syuhada keeping a close eye on the proceedings.

MelaShane, King, dara, Nada, Randy Quander, Afraa al Abid, Anette CapriHorn, Nilasso, Fatima, Hasim Rhagreb, slave Rachel

with special entertainment provided by the transcendent artists  MelaShane, and Anette

MelaShane and Nilasso entertain with song and dance

The elderly King had to repair to the Royal bed, assisted by the perfectly faithful dara, but the party went on far into the night. with a fitting ending provided by Portmaster Hasim Rhagreb, who summoned his lovely entertainer betty to complete the entertainment to a mostly satisfying day.

slave betty dances for Kalahari at the order of Portmaster Hasim Rhagreb

Such is the justice, artistry, and international flavor of Kalahari. (Not to mention a King seduced by sexuality in the air! ahahaha)

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

Kalahari Herald Chronicles 24 May 2017 3#51

SPECIAL 200th EDITION!

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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PRISON TALES!

CRIMINALS DALIA AND TINAWO TRY

 TO UPSET THE KALAHARI JUSTICE SYSTEM!

BOTH CRIMINALS GROW DESPERATE!

SIR FRANK COMES SEEKING SLAVE TINAWO!

SIR CRUISER CLAIMS HE IS THE 'BROTHER' OF SLAVE DALIA, AND, FITTINGLY, JOINS HER IN A CELL FOR ATTEMPTING TO BRIBE LADY STEPHANIE!

LADY OF THE NIGHT SONIA TAIROV VISITS THE PRISONERS!

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Events are coming fast and furious, as the devilish duo of Dalia and TinaWo, safely imprisoned in the Kalahari jail for an ever widening set of criminal charges, received two visitors whose presence added a touch of mystery, as well as disbelief, to this wretched pair's story.

The first visitor was Sir Frank, a sea captain with a great deal of money, and very little in the way of explanation as to where the money comes from, or what methods were used to earn it. He searched for a "Harlot Slave," but after assessing slave ibtisam, and complimenting her beauty,

he moved on and discovered the slave he sought, at the prison. It is slave TinaWo!

Why he searched for this notorious woman, and what his ulterior motives are, remain unknown as of this hour.

No sooner had Prison Manager Stephanie Brown handled this matter, that a man named Sir Cruiser appeared, claiming to be slave Dalia's "brother," who attempted to bribe Lady Stephanie, a woman of the highest integrity, to free the criminal Dalia.

Needless to say, the bribe was reported, and Stephanie jailed this man, with the assistance of Minister Afraa, and Lady Samaira, in the same cell as his "sister."

Reports also placed the notorious Lady of the Night and internationally famous dancer Sonia Tairov near the prison, but her connection to the prisoners, and HER ulterior motives, also remain unknown at this time.

The educated Kalahari citizenry could speak of little else, as they gathered at the Prison to see what bizarre event happened next!

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

Public punishment of slave TinaWo by King Hassan ibn Trrrol (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

Kalahari Herald Chronicles 22 May 2017 3#50

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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PRISON BREAK!

CONVICTED FRAUDSTER DALIA ESCAPES
 WITH AID OF SLAVE TINAWO!

BOTH CRIMINALS PUNISHED AND JAILED
 TO AWAIT FURTHER JUSTICE!

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Little did elderly King Hassan ibn Trrrol think that his just sentence would be so arrogantly challenged when he left on a well-earned ocean cruise with key elements of the Kalahari Naval Forces.

His just sentence of the fraudster Dalia was hailed by most in Kalahari as excellent justice, although a few residents of the Kingdom, who attended the trial, thought that slave Dalia lied throughout, aided and abetted in deception by her solicitor MelaShane, whose frequent outbursts were "overlooked" by the kindly King, as he was spending most of his time "looking over" the scantily-clad MelaShane! (ahahaha.)

How the prison break was accomplished remains to be seen after further interrogations of the guilty duo, but it is an example of their utter depravity that, instead of heading to the Harbor and attempting to flee, Dalia and TinaWo went to the Bath House and engaged in scandalous behavior.

Fortunately, Minister Afraa al Abid happened to be passing by the Bath House and heard ungodly shrieks coming from within. Moving quickly, she trapped the monstrous pair and quickly took them into custody.

Minister Afraa is not as subject to the somewhat questionable appeal of Dalia and TinaWo as King Hassan is. In her determination to stop this plague before it spread, Afraa dragged the offensive pair to the infrequently used Kalahari Punishment Tree, where a justice different from their expectations awaited TinaWo and the fraudster Dalia.

Minister Afraa carefully lectured the two criminals as to the reason they were being punished, as well as what the punishment would be: a severe whipping, followed by incarceration, and thorough interrogation.

And then, though she detests dealing out punishment herself, for the greater glory of Kalahari, Afraa administered a fair and just whipping to these horrid criminals, all according to the Kalahari Code of Justice.

This entirely just judgment was viewed by Lady Stephanie Brown, the Manager of the Kalahari Maximum Security Prison (KMSP),

and the Manager of the Garden of 1001 Pleasures, Lady Nilasso, who expressed her deep disappointment that two workers assigned to the Garden had been involved in such criminal doings.

After the entirely deserved punishment was conducted according to proper procedures, the criminals were marched to the Prison by Stephanie and Afraa, securely chained in place, and there they will be thoroughly interrogated, and await the King's return for further proceedings.

Concerned Kalahari citizens like Lady Samaira, and Sayed Sanik'naan and a woman of his household, Gadha, and slave Cybele Amorosi came out to offer assistance, and support the rule of law that is so sacred in Kalahari.

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

Public punishment of slave TinaWo by King Hassan ibn Trrrol (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

Kalahari Herald Chronicles 21 May 2017 3#49

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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KING ENJOYS ENTERTAINMENT AT GARDEN OF 1001 PLEASURES!

LADY NILA, GARDEN ENTERTAINERS, AND CRIMINAL DALIA DANCE!

NOTORIOUS SOLICITOR MELASHANE AND SIR SAMTALPUR ATTEND!

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The elderly King took time out from his heavy Palace duties to take some well-earned relaxation at the Garden of 1001 Pleasures. Lady Nilasso has been doing marvelous work blending talented artists like MelaShane the contrary solicitor, and beautiful Emine the Beauty Contest winner, with questionable characters like the convicted criminal Dalia, and the sexually aggressive TinaWo, and producing lovely displays of artistry.

The King requested a dance performance, and the Garden girls, under Nilasso's leadership, displayed precision skills, and perfect synchronicity, though TinaWo dropped out of the performance, and concentrated on edging within easy grasping distance of the King.

Later, Sir Samtalpur returned from a long voyage throughout the known world, and after being greeted by the King, regaled the assembled group with stories of his adventures.

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MEDIEVAL MURMURS

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Palatial Home of Lady Samaira

One of Kalahari's newest citizens is one of its richest, but perhaps also one of its most civic-minded residents as well. Lady Samaria offered lunch to Minister Afraa and Lady Shion at her beautiful new home, while discussing her civic role as Deputy Interrogator and seeker of secret spies. All Kalahari is grateful for Lady Samaira's talents and her generosity in using them for the welfare of the Kingdom.

Kalahari Maximum Security Prison

The strong Mine Worker Stephanie Brown recently revealed that her talents run deeper even than the Mine shafts where she digs gold and other ores that keep King Hassan rich, though those efforts seem to have no impact on the meager salaries the Monarch pays his Ministers! (ahahaha)

The Kalahari Maximum Security Prison Project nears completion as the talented Lady Stephanie adds the last few security measures. As all Kalahari knows, the first inmate has been placed in the Prison: the notorious fraudster and possible spy Dalia.

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

Public punishment of slave TinaWo by King Hassan ibn Trrrol (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

Kalahari Herald Chronicles 20 May 2017 3#48

DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI

(http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

((see dara's video of Queen Vi's party  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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FUGITIVE SLAVE DALIA CAPTURED, 

TRIED, CONVICTED, AND SENTENCED!

KING MERCIFUL IN HIS JUDGMENT!

TROUBLESOME DEFENSE ATTORNEY MELASHANE FACES DISCIPLINARY ACTION!

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After months on the run, the fugitive slave Dalia, was finally brought to justice. The relentless security forces of Kalahari (well, OK, she returned voluntarily, but relentless sounds so good ahahaha!) made sure that the slave was safely kept in a cell in the new Kalahari Maximum Security Prison (KMSP) until she was brought before King Hassan the Just.

Dalia had come to Kalahari some months ago, met with various civic leaders like Ministers Magdy and Afraa,

and promised King Hassan himself that she would open a Brothel for the pleasure of the residents of Kalahari, and foreign visitors, and on the basis of this promise, received luxurious housing, and many other benefits.

But then came the day when Dalia disappeared, leaving a string of unpaid bills and broken promises behind her. Her luxurious home lay open and ransacked, and the King had to bring in Ladies Josie North and Nilasso to open the renowned Garden of 1001 Pleasures.

Dalia chose her solicitor well: the King's eyes rarely left the magnificent, if scantily-clad figure of the defense attorney, (all in the cause of justice, of course!) as she strongly defended the clearly guilty prisoner, with respectable citizens like Samaira and Stephanie Brown in attendance.

But King Hassan the Just, aided by the great legal minds of Kalahari: Head Slaver Nada Syuhada, and Minister Afraa al Abid, were unmoved by the clever courtroom tricks of MelaShane.

In the following transcript provided by Kalahari Court Services, justice transparent, is justice administered. The themes are clear: the evenhanded judgment of the monarch; the outright lies of the defendant; the unruly courtroom behavior of Dalia's solicitor MelaShane; and the supportive outrage of upstanding Kalahari citizens like Lady Samaira.

Trrrol Toll: After listening to all parties......I conclude:

1) Liar and fraud with rent: Proven!

Dalia: NOOOO

Trrrol Toll: 2) Misleading the state about her intentions to build a brothel: Not proven

Trrrol Toll: The latter thanks to your solicitor's comments!

MelaShane: I protest!!!

Dalia nods

Trrrol Toll: You protest?????

Afraa al Abid: nods "Silence solicitor."

Afraa al Abid: "or you will be held in contempt of the King."

Trrrol Toll: Sit down MelaShane!

MelaShane: The evidence is insufficient!!!

Trrrol Toll: I have pointed out several lies!

Trrrol Toll: proven and with two witnesses

Trrrol Toll: And the fraud as well

Dalia: And I was never told how much the rent is!

Trrrol Toll: as I miss 6 months of rent!

Trrrol Toll: So

Dalia: There is no contract!!!

Trrrol Toll: The verdict is

MelaShane: I protest!!

MelaShane: I do not see these witnesses!!!

Afraa al Abid whispers: "Highness, shall i have Lady Samaira take this MelaShane into custody?"

Trrrol Toll: One week's imprisonment in the Kalahari Maximum Security Prison. From there she will be set to work at Mine or at the Gardens of Pleasure for one week.

Afraa al Abid whispers: Highness

Dalia: Cries

Afraa al Abid whispers: May I add to the sentence?

Trrrol Toll bows over to Afraa

Trrrol Toll whispers: Yes?

Lady Samaira: Disappointed there will be no whippings

MelaShane: As her defender I am untouchable, so is the law!!!

Trrrol Toll: I didn't touch you, Melashane

Afraa al Abid: As Minister of External Relations, I think this one must be heavily interrogated as to related spying charges, after she has been softened up by Mine and Brothel work

Dalia: Whaaaaat?

Afraa al Abid: and Solicitor, be careful!

Lady Samaira: nods, Very wise, Minister.

Trrrol Toll: Yes, the case of spying is still open, and she will be at your service for further interrogation

MelaShane: Again protest!!!

MelaShane: Witnesses could be biased!!!

Afraa al Abid: or I will be showing you, in your prison cell, Royal Charter 144, Paragraph B, line 12 of the Kalahari Justice Code,

Afraa al Abid: to whit:

Afraa al Abid: "Thou shalt not disagree with the King"

And so justice and peace are restored in Kalahari, the criminal Dalia will serve prison time, and then a sentence of a week's service in the Mine or the Garden of 1001 Pleasures, and finally be subject to heavy interrogation by Minister Afraa al Abid, and the deputized Court Officers Ladies Samaira and Stephanie Brown, in order to gather evidence on the serious charge of spying.

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COMING EVENTS

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Grand opening of Kalahari Market and Garden Games Pavilion (TBA)

Public punishment of slave TinaWo by King Hassan ibn Trrrol (TBA)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald