Kalahari Herald Chronicles 8 February 2018 3#88

                  DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI    8 February 2018
                             (http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

(and to see past issues, scroll down and on the right hand side, 

and you will see the blog archive with all 237 issues!)

                     ((and see dara's video!  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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KING HASSAN SEARCHES!

THE GREAT HUMANITARIAN SEEKS A HUSBAND FOR EHLINE!
DR ALI LAST SEEN FLEEING KALAHARI!
THE LION OF THE DESERT IS ON THE PROWL!

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KING HASSAN REFUSES TO DIVULGE WHERE HE WILL SEARCH!
ALL KALAHARI WONDERS WHAT SORT OF MAN CAN HANDLE EHLINE?
HER FATHER SAILMASTER THORGRIM IS COUNTING ON A RICH ONE!

Yes, it is true, many people have criticized King Hassan as a foolish monarch, with no ability to dance, who is only interested in chasing beautiful women around Kalahari.

King "dancing" with numerous beautiful women

When his supporters counter by saying, Well. look, he married Queen Dara, who is beautiful, talented, elegant and extremely competent, that argument is dismissed with the phrase "Opposites attract!" (ahahaha)

Beautiful Queen Dara

But the Kalahari Herald Chronicles tirelessly seeks the truth in all matters (except when "fake news" serves us better hihi!) and so we are here to report the true purpose of the King's lengthy and dangerous journey throughout the known world.

What is it which causes him to take ship across the dangerous seas, filled with monsters and pirates? What will bring him to barren desert outposts, fending off hostile tribesman, wild animals and vicious sandstorms? What might force him to attack impenetrable fortresses, climb towering mountains, stop chasing beautiful women? (OK, nothing will cause the last to happen!)

King Hassan attacks a castle seeking a husband for Ehline

The truth is, THE KING IS ON A MISSION OF MERCY! He has undertaken a Quest for a Husband for Ehline! 

Just consider the difficulties the King has embraced strictly out of compassion. In addition to facing all the dangers mentioned above, the King must find a husband who satisfies the crafty Ehline, AND her greedy father Thorgrim, while finding a man who is not an embarrassment to Kalahari.

Sailmaster Thorgrim already imagining his fortune

In order to assist the King, the lovely and talented staff of the Chronicles (namely Afraa al Abid ahahaha) has chosen some legendary men who might meet the requirements the King must fulfill.

Afraa passed out errr diligently working on the Chronicles

Knowing the greedy nature of Ehline and Thorgrim, perhaps the legendary Croesus, richest man in the world, is still alive somewhere in the fabled Kingdom of Lydia.

King Croesus of Lydia, richest man in the world.

Another candidate who might match the ruthless nature of the Father-Daughter team of Thorgrim and Ehline would be Vlad the Impaler, said to have murdered 20,000 of HIS OWN FOLLOWERS, in order to frighten an invading Ottoman army. In addition, Vlad's country of origin is Romania, also the home of Queen Nathalie, so it would further bind Kalahari in its alliance with Nathalie's homeland.

Vlad the Impaler, Ruthless Ruler of Romania

Finally, we have a suggestion that could possibly please King Hassan more than it might please dear Ehline. The fabled northern Kingdom of Albion has been ruled by an increasingly corpulent King (frequently, the best rulers are vary fat, as evidenced by the fabled Emperor Augosto of Iconia.) called Henry VIII.

The handsome and sexy Emperor Augusto of Iconia

The appeal that Henry VIII could have for King Hassan is that this monarch has executed at least two of his wives on the flimsiest excuses, and murdered numerous other members of his land. Whether this would have appeal for Ehline is an open question, but she does admire ruthless men!

Henry VIII of Albion, a pale imitation of Emperor Augusto.

Now, all Kalahari has been informed of the compassionate nature of our monarch. Let us all offer prayers for the safe return of the 
Great Humanitarian, and Lion of the Desert
King Hassan ibn Trrrol!

King Hassan, the Great Humanitarian

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

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Kalahari Herald Chronicles 5 February 2018 3#87

                  DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI    5 February 2018
                             (http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

(and to see past issues, scroll down and on the right hand side, 

and you will see the blog archive with all 235 issues!)

                     ((and see dara's video!  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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STORYTELLERS!

KING RECREATES THE STORY OF SCHEHERAZADE!
RENEE AND SARAH ARE BOTH TREMENDOUS!
KING PUNISHES THEM BY 
INVITING THEM TO THE ROYAL BEDROOM!

Aging King mesmerized by beautiful storyteller Scheherazade

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KING SUMMONS RENEE AND SARAH TO THE PALACE.
NILASSO AND AFRAA ENJOY THE STORYTELLING.

King Hassan Ibn Trrrol has long admired the tale of Scheherazade, the storyteller of One thousand and One Nights.

The story goes that Shahrya (شهریار Šahryār, from Middle Persian šahr-dār, "holder of the realm, King") found out one day that his first wife was unfaithful to him. Therefore, he resolved to marry a new virgin each day as well as behead the previous day's wife, so that she would have no chance to be unfaithful to him. (Thank God Queen Dara is faithful---SOMEONE in that couple should be!)

He had killed 1,000 such women by the time he was introduced to Scheherazade, the Vizier's daughter!

Against her father's wishes, Scheherazade volunteered to spend one night with the king. Once in the king's chambers, Scheherazade asked if she might bid one last farewell to her beloved sister, Dunyazade (دنیازاد Donyāzād), who had secretly been prepared to ask Scheherazade to tell a story during the long night.

The king lay awake and listened with awe as Scheherazade told her first story. The night passed by, and Scheherazade stopped in the middle. The king asked her to finish, but Scheherazade said there was no time, as dawn was breaking. So, the king spared her life for one day to finish the story the next night.

The following night, Scheherazade finished the story and then began a second, even more exciting tale, which she again stopped halfway through at dawn. Again, the king spared her life for one more day so she could finish the second story.

And so the King kept Scheherazade alive day by day, as he eagerly anticipated the finishing of the previous night's story. At the end of 1,001 nights, and 1,000 stories, Scheherazade told the King that she had no more tales to tell him. During these 1,001 nights, the King had fallen in love with Scheherazade. He spared her life, and made her his Queen.

Nilasso and Afraa await the stories of Renee and Sarah as decreed by the King

The King summoned Garden Manager Nilasso, and Minister Afraa to tell them he had challenged Sarah and Renee to prepare a life-saving story for him. Though he claimed their lives would NOT be forfeit if they did not please him, his use of the words "life-saving" caused concern among all present.

Afraa compliments Renee on a captivating story

STORY BY RENEE

Once upon a time all feelings and emotions went to a coastal island for a vacation. According to their nature, each was having a good time. Suddenly, an impending storm was announced and everyone was advised to evacuate the island. The announcement caused panic. as all rushed to their boats to flee the island.

Yet, Love did not want to flee quickly. There was so much to do. When Love realized it was time to leave there were no boats to spare. Love looked around with hope. Just then Prosperity passed by in a luxurious boat. Love shouted, “Prosperity, could you please take me in your boat?”  “No,” replied Prosperity, “my boat is full of precious possessions, gold and silver. There is no place for you.”

A little later Vanity came by in a beautiful boat. Again, Love shouted, “Could you help me, Vanity? Please take me with you.” Vanity responded haughtily, “No, I cannot take you with me. My boat will get soiled with your muddy feet.”

Sorrow passed by after some time. Again, Love asked for help. But to no avail. “No, I cannot take you with me. I am so sad. I want to be by myself.”

When Happiness passed by a few minutes later, Love again called for help. But Happiness was so happy that it did not look around, hardly concerned about anyone.

Love was growing restless and dejected. When somebody called out, “Come Love, I will take you with me.” Love did not know who was being so magnanimous, but jumped on to the boat, greatly relieved that she would reach a safe place.

On getting off the boat, Love met Knowledge. Puzzled, Love inquired, “Knowledge, do you know who so generously gave me a lift just when no one else wished to help?” Knowledge smiled, “Oh, that was Time. “And why would Time stop to pick me and take me to safety?” Love wondered.

True Love is shown over Time, and lasts for Eternity

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and replied, “Because only Time knows your true greatness and what you are capable of. Only Love can bring peace and great happiness in this world.”

 “The important message is that when we are prosperous, we overlook love

When we feel important, we forget love. Even in happiness and sorrow we forget love. Only with time do we realize the importance of love.”

THE END

Jason and the Argonauts seeking the Golden Fleece

STORY BY SARAH

There was a poor young man who had eyes for a girl from a wealthy family. To win her heart, her father said he should sail the seas to find a Golden Fleece. The young man, Jason, found a ship, the Argo, and a small crew, known as the Argonauts.

Jason set sail to the East searching for the magical island where the Fleece was located, and encountered many storms in that journey. He searched every island he came across and had to fight many battles until he saw the Fleece Island in the distance. There he had to battle demons, skeletons rose from the grave to fight him, monsters came from caves and lakes, all intent on destroying him and the Argonauts.

Many of his crew either ran or were killed, but Jason would not give up, he slayed all his foes until the way was clear to the mountaintop, which he had to climb as the Fleece was at the summit above the skies.

He took the Fleece and even more demons appeared! Jason fought them single handed, as he climbed back down. He then had to fight across the island, rescuing his crew in the meantime, to return to his ship.

On the return journey the seas rose to make his journey even more difficult, but the brave Jason knew he must take the Golden Fleece to his beloved’s father. After many months away, on one glorious morning he saw his home land, and, looking through his glass, he saw his beloved standing on the shore waiting for this return. 

He presented the Fleece to her father and was rewarded with her hand!

King Hassan congratulates Sarah on her thrilling story

Sadly, though the tales told by Renee and Sarah were brilliant, and ended in joy, the end of their night had no such happy ending. As a "reward" for their outstanding storytelling, the King invited Sarah and Renee to the Royal Bedroom.

Minister Afraa and Manager Nilasso fled in horror, so no further account of this story can be given. (ahahahahaha)

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

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Kalahari Herald Chronicles 2 February 2018 3#86

                  DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI    2 February 2018
                             (http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)

(and to see past issues, scroll down and on the right hand side, 

and you will see the blog archive with all 235 issues!)

                     ((and see dara's video!  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KALAHARI BATH HOUSE!

DONATION OF QUEEN NATHALIE OF ROMANIA!
MANAGED BY DIANA GEESINK!
WILLOW'S GIFT LIVENS UP ACTIVITIES!

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QUEEN NATHALIE'S "EXPERIENCE" GUIDED HER DONATION

Queen Nathalie of Romania, whose only fault is that
she and Solondra cheat Minister Afraa at Parcheesi

All in Kalahari know the lively and vivacious figure of Queen Nathalie of Romania. But many do not know that her past experiences have shaped the benefactor who gifted the Kingdom with the lovely Thermae, the Bath House.

Her experience with "international relations" is one factor that has "opened up" Queen Nathalie to the delights that a Bath House can offer an eager citizenry.

Sultan Suleiman of Topkapi introduces Queen Nathalie to "international relations."

And that seems to be a royal prerogative King Hassan himself believes in, as he also has benefited from such activity in the Bath House.

King Hassan models "royal behavior" with the lovely Tasha Weston

Even commoners like Tina Wo and slave Dalia take their cue from the royals as they make energetic use of the Bath House facilities.

Tina Wo continuing the training of slave Dalia

But all is not royal dalliance in the Bath House. It has served as the ritual bath site for many Kalahari weddings, a sacred rite that takes place in solemn surroundings. Most recently, the wedding of the lovely Samaira Valentina, to Sheik Fariq James el Kalaharian began with the blessed rite in the Bath House

Queens Dara and Nathalie and the women of Kalahari bathe Samaira

and attracts such visitors as the notorious Meyonian Ambassador and international criminal Randy Quander.

Meyonian Ambassador and criminal fugitive Randy Quander with Minnie and Afraa

The latest benefaction comes from the lovely slave of Sir Peace Furst, the brilliant dancer Willow.

Willow the Lovely, slave of Sir Peace Furst

Her new pool drew a large and enthusiastic crowd, including King Hassan and Queen Dara, Dr. Albert, Solondra, and the always modest Minister Afraa al Abid.

Afraa, Dr. Albert, King Hassan, Queen Dara, Solondra enjoy the "Willow Pool"

All Kalaharians should know that King Hassan has named Diana Geesink as Manager of the Bath House, so any suggestions for further refinements, especially those not ending in sex with King Hassan (ahahahaha), should be made to Lady Diana.

King Hassan naming Diana Geesink Manager of the Kalahari Bath House

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Afraa al Abid

Kalahari Herald

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