Kalahari Herald Chronicles 24 June 2016 2#99

                  DAILY NEWS FROM MAMLAKAT KALAHARI    24 June 2016
                     (http://mykalahariblogaddress.blogspot.com)
              ((and see dara's video!  https://youtu.be/EtOflO7KktA))

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INAUGURATION OF LADY LOUISE KINGBE: MINISTER OF INTERNAL AFFAIRS!
KING AND LARGE CROWD ENTHUSIASTICALLY HONOR THE NEW MINISTER!
DANCING, STORYTELLING, FEASTING HIGHLIGHT THE INAUGURATION!

In the course of human events, it sometimes occurs that the perfect set of circumstances join together, when the talented person, the important position, the intelligent ruler, and the great need coincide. And so it was in Kalahari on Friday, when King Hassan ibn Trrrol inaugurated Minister Louise Kingbe to take charge of the important post of Internal Affairs.

Before a large crowd of invited dignitaries, admirers, and ordinary Kalaharians, Minister Afraa greeted all and introduced the Program of Events:

"Salaam to all His Highness King Hassan, Minister, Distinguished Visitors and Honored Guests , and Welcome to the Inauguration of Louise Kingbe as the Minister for Internal Affairs of Mamlakat Kalahari.

Kalahari Kingdom, under the leadership of King Hassan ibn Trrrol, stands as a beacon of hope and justice for all medieval lands. Our people are not enemies, but friends. Though passion may strain them, it never breaks our bonds of affection, for we do not plot against each other, or execute those with whom we disagree. The ancient national memory, stretching from every battlefield and warrior’s grave to every living heart and home stone all over our broad land, swells with pride the spirits of Kalaharians, when we consider the better angels of our nature, and the challenge we face to spread our message of peace and understanding to the whole world.

And so, it is my honor to introduce the King of Kalahari Kingdom, the Lion of the Desert, the Monarch of Merry Dancing, the Lord of Lovers, the handsome though slender Hassan ibn Trrrol!"

And King Hassan's easy eloquence showed through on this occasion, as he addressed the audience with dignity, and with a glowing pride.

"The House of Trrrol, of ancient memory, and the Kalahari Kingdom, have always held to the ideal that all of the people in its care---royalty, citizens, slaves--- deserve to be treated with their best interests in mind.

With that as background, I have determined to create the position of Minister of Internal Affairs in order to provide the best for all in Kalahari.

What does the Minister of Internal Affairs do? The Minister will oversee the social needs of the Kalahari people. She will encourage the social welfare of the people, including the environment, landscaping, public utilities, and all housing issues, including the assignment of housing. She also serves as the Kingdom Architect. In addition, if there are disagreements, she serves as a mediator between the parties in the dispute.

As I looked over the many qualified Kalaharians who could have filled this position, one person stood out in my estimation, and in the minds of all my councilors.

Since her arrival in Kalahari under tragic circumstances, Lady Louise Kingbe has impressed all with whom she has had relations. Her talent as an architect is evident in the many beautiful buildings she has erected in New Kalahari, and in the beautiful landscaping that surrounds them.

Her radiant personality glows in every corner of Kalahari, and her judgment is impeccable. Her goodness and prudence will aid us all, even in times of conflict.

So, for the greater glory of Kalahari and its people, it is my pleasure to appoint Lady Louise Kingbe as Minister of Internal Affairs for Mamlakat Kalahari!"

And with that, the King took out the Ancient Sword of the Trrrols, and, tapping Lady Louise on each shoulder, he welcomed her to her new position as Minister of Internal Affairs of Kalahari.

And at that stroke, great applause arose from the assembled multitude, and the Minister's face reflected the pride she felt, and also the dedication with which she takes on this new responsibility. The applause grew and grew, as one of the most beloved citizens of Kalahari stood before us.

Nobility and citizen, slaves male and female, all joined in a loud chorus of approval.

But the dazzling inauguration program still had one more event of artistic quality. The renowned Kingdom Storyteller, the talented and yet shy Eluned ap Meurig, had chosen the perfect tale to highlight Minister Louise's promotion. She courageously delivered her story before a hushed audience:

THE GOODWIFE OUIDA AND THE WYVERN by Eluned ap Meurig

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a wyvern wreaked havoc. A wyvern is a monstrous serpent, like unto a dragon yet with only one set of legs. The size of a warship, it slithered around, toppling walls and fortifications. Sometimes it flew with its bat-like wings, if only to hop over lakes and forests.

The King had sent his great knights to slay the beast, but none could withstand its sharp fangs, its crushing weight, or worst of all its poisonous breath. All hope was lost when he had exhausted his supply of heroes. Word was sent throughout the land to flee, to take all that could be carried and evacuate.

When the call reached the small village where Goodwife Ouida lived, she was baffled by the haste with which her fellow women were packing. "Weak, fearful simpering fools!" She dusted the flour from her apron, rolled up her sleeves and took with her a stout wooden spoon from her kitchen. She marched right up to the cave of the wyvern, not too far from her village.

Goody Ouida yelled out, "Oi! Get out here you wretched worm!" The wyvern obliged and began to laugh. It had expected another knight in shining armor. This little woman was surely just a joke!

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself! The trouble you've caused. All these years you've kept to the wilds, not bothering your neighbors and now? Breaking down houses? " She kicked a discarded helmet, all that was left of one of the knights. "Slaughtering knights! Your mother would be ashamed!" She stomped right up to him, pointing an accusatory finger mere inches from his snout.

"Here is what I have to say about that!" She smacked him hard three times with her spoon, right on his sensitive nose. "Now you go right back into your cave and think about what you've done, young man."

The wyvern was stunned. Did this woman have no fear? Or worse.... why did she not fear him? It should take so little to kill her. He sulked back into his cave, sure he had just narrowly avoided someone blessed by Heaven itself with holy power.

The next day, Goody Ouida returned. "Now what do you have to say for yourself?" The wyvern couldn't speak, so it just slumped down on the rocks. She had upgraded her weapon to a frying pan. "Are you going to behave yourself from now, or do I have to smack you with this?" The wyvern nodded, still certain her bravery had to be backed up by something. "You keep to the wilds like wyvernkind has always done before, and we shouldn't have to meet again." She scratched her chin, thinking. "To repay for all the trouble, you are bound to obey the King when he calls you in his hour of need. Agreed? You won't get a better deal, I can promise you that, sonny boy!" He nodded vigorously. She took one of his discarded scales as a trophy.

Goodwife Ouida made her way to the capital city, wearing her best bonnet and carrying the scale. Even that single scale was the size of a shield. She was admitted to the presence of the King and curtsied. "He's ashamed of what he's done, and I made him promise to come to your aid when you call him. Take this scale as proof. Beat it like a drum to summon the beast if you like," said Ouida, very matter of fact.

The King sprang to his feet, shocked and amazed. "But how, how did you do all this?"

"Oh, I just scolded him like the naughty boy he is! That's all it took."

"Surely you must be the jewel of all the women of my kingdom! Join my court as my advisor. It seems sometimes it takes a woman to think of things a man wouldn't," said the King.

Goody Ouida, now Lady Ouida, accepted his appointment and split her time between the King's Court and her own household. The kingdom benefited from her good common sense advice for many years to come.

The End.

The audience sat for a second in stunned awe, and then a rich and appreciative applause grew, as all realized how appropriate and clever Eluned's tale was.

And then it was time for what Kalahari is well known: feasting and dancing, and this moment was highlighted by the Kalahari Dancers, guided by Palace Slave dara, and including Palace Slave Nada, and a somewhat underdressed Minister Afraa ahaha.

The feasting then commenced, with all the vitality that accompanies a Kalahari party. Distinguished guests like Goddess Lexi Moonstone, and Lady Rosecendre, feasted with the King, and Ministers Louise and Afraa. And they were joined by the cream of Kalahari society: Minister Afraa al Abid, Tavern Manager Cindy and her beautiful son Hassam, Sir Bill le Brave and his slave Bee, Elyssa Kalaratri, and Laila, as well as slaves dara, Nada, Eluned, and little worm.

The King made sure to sit near the women who made the event so wonderful: Lady Louise, and Palace Slaves dara and Nada.

Some diplomatic business was attended to by the King and Minister Afraa, with Goddess Lexi and Lady Rose, the results of which may soon make history! ahahaha

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Afraa al Abid
Kalahari Herald